27/07/2010

my apointment with Dr Craig Taylor

ummmm he seems very young.... does that mean i am getting old????

ok so here goes.
first thing was weighed... and had put on 3kg.
was to be expected after the lst 2 visits to hospital.....thought i had put back the whole 8kg and more, soooo i guess 3 is not so bad.

saw Dr Taylor. He questioned my choice..... a few times...  but saw my point, and my point that if i was as i am i will not be around in 5 years....

so we went through my health issues, decided to check for a hereditry blod disorder... another one as i have lost 8 pregnancys, and have clots all over....
next we discussed my lungs.... and he wishes i had a different set....

then there was my...


but he booked me in...
september 20th....

now for apra... have to do tomorrow and beg them to rush it.... then ring ing and ask them to rush that too....
he has to be paid by 8th september.

the plan:
see if i can remember....
1.  will go straight to icu, do not pass go.
2.  will have pca
3.  will have anti nausia meds
4.  have to see a chest physio before hand
5.  have to see a anestesiologest or 2 beforehand.
6.  lots and lots of blood tests.
7.  probebly have a central line when i wake up.
8.  said this time next year will be around 50kg less..... i can't process that.... was walking past clothes tonight in big W summer stuff coming in..... and could not see me in any normal size clothes.

9.  will be a five weetbix breakfast.... instead of 1.  i am a challenge.
10.   3 weeks opti
11.   go for a swim or 10 to help lungs.

so there we go sure i have forgotten things....

10/08/2010

h ave not been writing here for a while, have not had much to say.

I don't know what to say today, but know if i don't write soon it will never happen.

I am a little (ok a lot) down today, cold and it is raining.

I have sent my application with apra approveal to our super people today.
so the process for us went a little like this....

i got the original forms and filled them out wiht a letter from my Dr and specialist.
sent them to APRA, then got letters stating they needed more information.
me being me sat on this a while, then started chasing the letters. In the middle of this I changed my Surgeon, and had to get letters from the new one then too.
My GP did not want to say that the obesity was life threatening, but was more than willing to say that I have many life threatening illnesses.... so had to get her to re- write the letters more than 3 times.

I also got her to add that the surgery was booked and any delay would be deprimental to my Health. when i rang APRA to tell them i had faxed them and needed to apply for priority approval, they were cadgey and said they would tell me if my application for priority was approved within 48 hours then i wold know within  5 working days, if it was approved, if not, it would be 12 days... to close to the surgery date for it to get to super company and then get it approved from there.

well i rang the next day, and was told application was sucessful, and the letter was in the post with approval. This was great.
Have filled in all the forms, seen JP and had everything whitnessed and it is all in the super company's hand now.

I have been doing a lot of study. Have finished my course, and started on the next one, which is great as I have finished in record time...
I am doing Create Electronic Presentations at the moment, and like working with Power pOint, but not sure hwo i feel about writing a order of presentation document.

my girls are both sick, coughing and spluttering and have flu so not well at all, and makes me sad that they are both feeling soo yuck. dropped them at the pool today, did not want them walking in the rain. school not happy, but tough. they are not needing to be any sicker.

ummmmmmm

22/08/2010 copied from......

Hi all
it is becoming more and more real, this journey to a new me!!

I have been so busy with study and apra and family for the last month.

Now i will be spending a lot of my time travelling and sitting with my mum.
but i need to get myself organised.

so, what do i need to do?
make lists is a huge thing.... and i can do that here...
i need to figure out what my girls need to take with them to ballina.
i need to get myself organised and what i need ready
i need to cook and freeze meals of hubby for a month.
i need to cook and freeze some mushy foods.
i need to make sure house is reasonable.

am making a start on the house.... have someone coming tomorrow to help me catch up on some of the crap/// my room is a huge mess, and so is the lounge room.
will do them tomorrow and go to the tip with what i don't want to keep.

as for how i am feeling?
have put on all i lost from the OPTI....
so now have to start again.
I need to remember that i have had 3 hospital admissions in 4 weeks, and have been travelling to and from the hospital everyday for my mum.

ok. so not good at talking feelings.... am scared, feel sick and not coping with the idea of pain.
but then think of the pain of carrying another person around all day every day...

29/08/2010

what a week i ahve had!!
my mum is still in hospital, but now has been diagnosed with dementia, and is really showing it.

she is in a room with a "special" a nurse that can not leave the room or the patients alone.

Hubby got a letter from super.... the money is in his account!!!
sooooo he wants to use it to fix his car.... lol not a chance have pinched his bank card and will start taking out the maximum withdrawal amount each day and put in mine.....and then transfer to the surgeon. seems such a hassle.

i ahve a major potassium deficancy, and can't seem to get it  back to normal. it causes extreme tiredness, mussle fatigue and problems with insulin.... need more to do less.

starting opti tomorrow BUT am having a seafood platter on tuesday lunch time! lol was the only time i could organise it for.

i will do what i did last time.
salad
soup
and bags of lettuce mix.

tea
looove lots and lots of hot sweet tea ( i am a little  ahead of some who are doing this as i already use equal..... can't stand sugar tastes like syrup to me)

3 shakes a day coffee flavour for breakfast

strawberry and berries for lunch (frozen berries pureed into a sorbet kind of thing)

and probebly a soup for dinner till they run out then what ever i have left, think i have all the shakes but do need to get salad stuff and veggies to make soup with.
that would be
cabbage
2x cans tomoatoes
capsium
carrot
celery
tomaotes
zucchini
squash
tomato paste
and some chicken stock or veggie stock
dice and cook the lot!!!

that's it for me, need a nap!!!

copied from some where else ... will come back and edit with dates and times...

OK so i need to update this.... sorry ti has been so long....

Monday morning we got to the Mater....

an hour early so my  husband   took me for a drive around Balls point... it was lovely just being together as a couple.

when we got to the hospital, did admissions stuff and then we went to the ward.
DH and i tried to take a lot of before photo's he took about 30.... then we discovered none had worked so back in day clothes, take another lot strip to bra and panties and take another lot and then another lot in the gown.

was nice being together.

then it was time to go to theatre....
saw my sleep  DR... lol Don't remember seeing DR Talyor   though.

DH walked with me, and when we got to the doors he had to go.... but i had my bear!!!
bear came in with me, he (and it is a he even though he is baby pink.....) got masked up too.

IV in and off to la la land...
woke in heaps and heaps of pain, being told to take a deep breath.... felt like throat was closed was sooooo hard!!!
ICU unit for a day and night.
walked 50 meters then

the next 24 hours are a blur of pain, pushing the pca button and vomiting.
on Thursday.. the next day i really remember i was still vomiting and feeling really horrible. but went for walks and did what i should.

I had so many issues with tummy stuff...
couldn't drink water or juice or cordial or anything but milk.... what a life it was.

lol the funny thing is when I     every one wants to leave even me....

tired again... sorry will write more later.....
probably just transcribe from my journal... very good idea write in it as i go each day.

thinking i too need nilstat, but think will try ummmm probiotic tabs kept in fridge add with millions of blue little guys....... can't think of the name.

I am still very nausiated and struggling to remember to eat. i do remember to sip as soooooo thirsty.  I have made  jurnal of my surgery and the lead up and will keep writing in it as the time goes on. the first page says....
"once upon a time.....
there was a very hungry catterpillar......
and this is the story of how she became a butterfly!
i have written a little aobut my childhood. but most is about now and what am going through.
DH took so many bero shots and in hosptial shots and i am going to get him to take some 3 week out shots tomorrow.
See Dr Taylor then too and will ask him for a shot with him....
lol.
Have one with Dr Love.... he was my Dr at the mater for asthma, Diabetes and all my other issues.
BGL's have nto improved at all. bugger was hoping that the surgery would help with my insulin needs.
OOOHHHHH ***** Bio Oil ladies!!! start using on your face and neck at least twice a day.
it will help with hte sagging of the face and wrinkles from losing so much weight. it does seem to cost a lot, but have used mine twice a day for 3 weeks and you can't see that any is missing from the bottle.
will help the grandma face thing from losing weight fast laptop going to die... battery so Hi to all i have missed... lol bye
.................................editied to add.................................................
i can do the milk stuff...... have been having liquid yogurt drinks a lot.
but mainly flavoured water and sustagen when i remember. for diner tonight i mixed 3 scoops with 100ml milk.... had not had anything today except water and 1/4 of a small avocado.... but did not eat most of it..... tried tea today but was not really successful. hope tomorrow when i see the surgeon and the dietitian i will get ideas on how to help me eat better...... or at least be interested in remembering to eat and what to eat.
Last time the dietitian had no idea..... i had to keep reminding her of my allergies and that i am a diabetic.... she just kept trying to sell me the standard products.... not for me at all!!!
i hope that i get some where.... i bought children's custard pots (12 pack) and some pureed apple stuff from the canned fruit aisle.... little pots. try half a tub of each mixed and eat with an egg teaspoon...... they are tiny teaspoons so make it easy to have small amounts.
i have been averaging 400 calories a day, instead of a minimum of 800 calories..... so not losing weight as well as I should be.... body is in starvation mode... and I keep vomiting bile or burping for hours so feel like Yuck all the time.
still don't regret the surgery, already love my thinner body, but worried that i have no interest in food just thirsty.
very thirsty.
like high blood sugars but without them being high....

copied from some where else ... will come back and edit with dates and times...

so, this is my space in this
huge place!!

a place to record my thoughts, efforts and food!!

thinking will do food in a separate post, can do this most days as it only
takes a min or 2... and can update and change as it goes along!!!

was a big kid, but active, remember though that i had a mentality of why stand
when you can sit, why sit when you can lay down why be awake when you can be
asleep....

but i swam 4 or 5 km everyday, surfed had 2 horses that i cared for, and played
netball.....

at 20 i was 85kg, working 2 jobs.

at 23 i was a mum.... and about 90kg

i stayed at this weight until after my marriage, and another 5 pregnancy's.....
but unfortunately we only got to take 2 beautiful baby girls home. after baby
#3, i developed PND, and bipolar....

about 7 years ago i started having asthma attacks and allergies, and started on
steroids... the beginning of the end for me.

fast forward to 2008, i was constantly in and out of ICU< and about 167kg,
and on steroids constantly.

started battling to get the weight off, but would not stay off, so joined a
health fund 29/6/2009.

wiht the aim of being banded, but, no think going to covince surgeon to sleeve
me, have a good argument ready to fight for it, and guess i am paying him so
should be able to get what i need!!

now i am 144.4 kg... well was on 28/5/2010, my scaless don't seem to work at
this weight... so i don't know what i am now,

ummmmm my meal plan... .long!! and posted else where, but i will cut 'n paste

This is my meal plan, is
written for another person to follow what i do....... aimed at another person,
as i was sharing it with someone else, but this is how i do it.

soon as you wake, make yourself tea with equal and 50 to 70 mills low fat milk.

(coffee is to easy to more milk in, but if you can do coffee with this amount
of milk, go for it.)

do your waking stuff, then have a shake. i have a coffee shake made by shaking
100 ml hot tap water and shaking add to my coffee mug, then shake 50 mill
boiling water in the shaker, pour into mug, top wiht boil water... i add extra
coffee and sometimes equal.

lol this is getting long sorry but want to help you get there.... and i will be
doing wiht you each step of the way.

drink at least 3 cups of water or tea before snack.

snack make a soup by chopping a veggie... yum wiht zucchini OR yellow squash OR
cauliflower Or broccoli OR carrot capsicum and zucchini.

you need around a cup of veg, add water to come 3/4 of the way to top of veg
and simmer about 10 min. add a stock cube, puree and add herbs or spices or
more water.

this should make a big bowl of soup. and is surprisingly filling and low in fat
and calories.

lunch optifast soup or shake... make as you like but no milk!

have a lot of drinks - tea coffee (50 mills milk rule )

make a salad of capsicum, tomato, cucumber, onion, shallots, mushrooms, celery
and as much lettuce as you want.

your serve of salad is i cereal bowl...... but not the lettuce what i do is
pile my plate with lettuce, and then pop over the chopped salad stuff.

i have 50mil salad dressing.... no fat or 99% fat free to dip it in... and a
slice of lemon on the side. hint cut up enough for 2 salads in 1 go. but don't
make the puree soup ahead as not so creamy reheated.

drink!!!!!!!!!!!!

have another salad if your not coping.



dinner optifast shake or soup. milk rule applies.

then i if i am munchy, and steroids can make me this way and it is cold.... it
is 4c now.... i make a stew.. chopped veggies cooked with a little tomato paste
and stock and bulked up wiht water... you will be surprised how much a big bowl
of this, (i make 2 meals, 1 now 1 in the fridge for next meal..... try with
onion, carrot, eggplant, celery, capsicum, tomato, cabbage, zucchini.

this is not that expensive.... as most is bulked out with water, lettuce and
stock cubes.

a "cuppa soup" made on a stock cube and boiling water can help too.
this works on so many levels great for diabetes, liver issues, weight loss, and
gives you energy to burn.

Had a quick drop in with the
dietitian and a weigh in..... have lost 3.3kg.... not sure how i feel that but
better than a kick in the teeth. we talked protien, and hair loss... have lost
a lot. she also said that i was not an easy one.. so many allergies. i think i
am going it have fish on fridays and chicken on wednesdays..... not sure how
that will go, but have lost a heap of hair... had a thick brade down my back,
now have what looks like a thick rats tail.

have to book the ultra sound in the next couple of days.

made a really spicy dressing... made me eat slower!!!

1 tspoon of hot english mustard mixed with 2 table spoons of 99% fat free
coleslaw dressing.

HOT!!!

lol

i am a little down today, not sure why and can't seem to get out of the funk i
am in.

going to make posters with the girls today.. using our scrap booking stuff.
should be fun!!

might take them to the scrap place tomorrow

it's been a week and a half
in my life!

Monday, cold cold cold lol don't know what else we did, think i slept the day
away...

Tuesday. did some house hold stuff, made a stack of appointments i have been
avoiding... dentist, scans, and house hold family stuff.

went to dr to get another letter to apra. got my hair cut off!!!


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 







i love it, and want to keep it that way. i only did it because
so much is falling out, never would have thought i would ever cut my hair!!

in the evening, miss 11 was being silly and kicked her toe.... she has only
just gotten out of plaster from 2 broken toes and her 5th metacarpal
(???spelling) so took her to children's hospital..... combination of cold and
other's smoke (don't get me started on smoking) had an

asthma attack

, the children's hospital called an ambo, and i went into
respiratory failure.... was in resus for the night, and signed self out in the
morning........ no sleep full of steroids and other crap.

got home at.... 6.30am! had shower, got girls dressed and off to school, went
to centrelink and then..... DENTIST

. did i mention that i really really hate the dentist and am
terrified of it.....

need: 4 or 5 root canal, 4
crowns, 6 fillings, a good clean.... and a root bed extraction.

will be sedated for some of it.

went back on Thurs.. was supposed to have 2 small fillings, but had 2 fillings
and 1 root canal.

going back today.

also go to see my surgeon's setchitary to get weighed this morning... not
looking forward to this, as i ate like a pig weds from the steroids, just hope
no gain. have to get scanned on Tues, for start of the process for me to be
banded lol my surgeon does not know yet that i want to be sleeved instead!!!

going back to dentist this morning, and to auto electrician... and to return
DOA items... sigh.

OK will get back to you, dear diary with my weight today... maybe!!!

so finally below 140kg.

went to dentist, now have had 4 root canals, and 7 fillings...... $3000
later.... still need more done. next thurs.

so my next week already looks a little like this:

Monday: clean iron and vacuum, nap and hopefully get started with my new
tafe course.

Tuesday: ultra sound and barium swallow.

Wednesday: children’s hospital with miss 11. DH and Miss 10 to dentist

Thursday: dentist 2 hour appointment.

Friday: DH might be going to Melbourne so need ot be ready to play
single parent and get a lot of stuff done. want to change around the kids rooms
and get rid of some furniture too... (HUGE JOB)

i get that a lot.... have
major lung issues, this is the first step in major lung surgery.....

life at home is like anywhere... up and down and all over the place!!!

the jeans.... lol

well, it all started on a cold Sydney Sunday. I decided that i was going to
Church, allergies or no allergies and i was going to stay well the whole
time... (how does that saying go?? the best laid plans of mice and men.....)

Got showered, blow dried and dressed.. last clean pair of jeans, my fav black
ones. chucked kids and nebulizer into the car, and off we went. got as far as
the door... and started wheezing. perfume!!!

had fight with husband and then drove self to hospital. standing at the triage
desk.... and jeans slid down to ankles.... not a nice sight i can assure you.
the more i tried to pull them up the more they fell... ended up with my hair
tie in the waistband.

got home, and was asked why i was wearing track pants to church...... they were
that loss that husband and girls thought was trackies...



note to self.... get some draw string pants or jeans with belt loops.... will
have to go and have a look at at autograph, but don't want to spend money on
jeans if 5kg (i think by now) changes my size this much, as i will need new
clothes every month. think i might actually fit into a 26 now.... sounds
strange that...